Saturday, January 23, 2010

Mom at Sixteen

While at the gym tonight, I caught the very end of the Lifetime movie, "Mom at Sixteen." The young woman in the movie gives birth to a son and begs her mom not to make her give him up. The mom agrees and says she'll raise the boy as her own. (I grasped all this through flashback.) The young woman eventually decides that she wants to give her baby more and lets a local couple adopt her child.

I was touched by the little that I saw of this movie. I wonder if someone who has been touched by adoption wrote the script. There was "give up" my child and "give my child more" language. The young mom was torn by the decision she made because she loved her boy. Adoption is not an easy decision. It takes a great deal of love to place your child with someone else.

I cried as I watched the adoptive parents and their reactions. I could easily identify with them. During one scene, the adoptive mom has been called by the agency about the baby, and she's sprinting to find her husband. I remember that exhilaration as I recall fast walking through the hospital after Jack was born to tell everyone, It's a boy!" But the couple is also nervous as they wait at the agency. Will the birth mom change her mind? Do you attach to a child who is not your child yet? Your heart wants to claim him. There are so many emotions that you go through. A series of attachments and dettachments in an effort to protect yourself, protect your heart from breaking.

I was a little disappointed at the end. The adoptive parents are in their living room with their adopted son and his sister, a child the adoptive mom was able to conceive. Shows like this Lifetime movie and even the "Sex and the City" movie like to add even more magic dust to the fairy tale endings for adoptive parents.

Just because a couple adopts, doesn't mean they will miraculously become pregnant. Believe me, we've tried and it doesn't seem to be in the cards. I do know that it happens for some adoptive parents and I always stand back and think, "That is definitely another miracle from God. That was meant to be. Those children are meant to be together with that couple."

The movie redeemed itself by ending the scene with the young boy hugging his birth mom. The couple and birth mom chose open adoption for their son which meant their boy would know his birth mom and she would be an important part of his life.

We are blessed to have a wonderful relationship with Jack's birth mom. We gained supportive family and friends who are so kind to us and Jack is able to have a loving relationship with his birth mom. I know he'll have questions some day and we will do our best to answer them, but he can also go to his birth mom with these questions.

Adoption is a journey of faith. There were many times during Jack's adoption when we had to remind ourselves that God had helped lead us on the journey and that He was there for us and Jack's birth mom.

This weekend marks the 37th year anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the United States. During mass tonight, our priest said that all of us born after 1973 our survivors. Our parents chose life for us. Growing up, when there were seven children in a classroom, there should have been one more.

Every night, I pray that more women will choose life for their babies. I also pray that if they cannot take care of their children, that they will consider adoption. Life is precious.

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