Sunday, February 22, 2009

Reflections on my boy

Everytime I see my boy, I see a miracle. It took a lot of pieces to fall in place for us to be with him. His birth mother could have chosen a different path for him. But she chose to see him as a blessing for someone else.

After people adopt or give birth, you often hear them say, "I can't imagine my life without my child." That's true. I can't imagine looking in my back seat and not seeing my son back there. I can't imagine not reading books to my little munchkin, or, watching my little munchkin "read" a book to himself.

However, I still remember the pain before we were able to adopt our son. Years of infertility take an emotional toll. It's hard to see others around you have children while, month after month, you face the same verdict. You half-heartedly attend friends' and cousins' baby showers wondering when you'll be able to celebrate at your own. It's hard to believe that something so natural, the ability to bear children, is next to impossible. I've felt betrayed by my body many times through the years but I've never given up hope.

Every other weekend, I bring communion to several people in an assisted living retirement home. As we say our petitions, there is a prayer at the end that asks God to bless us with the gifts that He knows are best for us. I'm glad He blessed us with our son. He is the best gift!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Good Times

We headed to my parents' farm today. It was a little cold outside so we played inside. We feasted on the most delicious rice krispies, my favorite! Oh, the chicken and dumplings were great too. We tried playing dominoes but my little guy decided he'd rather drop them on the floor. Maybe we should try Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders first.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

What If

I'll admit. I'm horrible at poetry. But the following is something I recently wrote to express my sadness with loss, whether experienced through infertility, miscarriage or a combination of the two.

Although we never met
My dreams for you,
I’ll never forget.

You were in my heart, more than my life.
Too soon gone,
Blessed child of Christ.