I had a bittersweet dream last night. I dreamed that I was holding a jumbo pregnancy test. One line appeared. We're halfway there, I thought, even though the first line is like the free space on a BINGO card - a given. And then the second line appeared. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Over the years, I've bought my fair share of pregnancy tests. Why? Who knows. With my track record, I should know that buying one is a waste of money. But for some reason, there's always a little ounce of hope hidden deep inside me.
I stared at the second line for a while in disbelief and then the word "Matched" appeared. During the adoption process, the word "matched" indicates when a couple is chosen by the birth family. Last night, our agency e-mailed an update to all their families letting them know that a couple of their families had been matched. I'm always happy to see these updates and the families matched but it also makes me a little sad. It makes me wonder if we'll be matched. The update must have prompted my dream. I like to think it is also God's way of saying, "Have faith, daughter. Don't be discouraged."
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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